DIY or Divorce

Labor Day Weekend 2019 – our first full weekend home since May. What better way to celebrate being home, three days off, and a holiday rooted in relaxation, than remodeling the bathroom? Are we ambitious or stupid? I haven’t decided. When the last piece of molding is nailed in place, and the last touch up is painted, it all seems worth it… But I mean, really, who chooses to go full rip out and remodel, instead of ripped and relaxed? (Ooo that’s a good idea for the next project… if I’m ripped while remodeling, I would be more relaxed… Duly noted.)

Anyway, I would consider Jared and I pretty successful home renovators. Over the past two years we’ve refinished the hardwood floors (we did get some help here), repainted the whole house, put in new molding, new fans and light fixtures, upgraded the landscaping, built a pergola, refinished the bonus room, decorated, painted doors, and now, a new throne.

Since buying the house it has really come to life. It’s cleaner, brighter, and has truly become home. It is a reflection of who I am and what I love, and is the one place where I am able to fully relax. I love this little house and everything it represents. There has been a lot of long hours, sweat, and, um, maybe some yelling… No one said home improvement (especially with your partner) was easy. You never realize how bad someone’s taste is (kidding!) or how neurotic you are (seriously) until you get elbow deep in the remodel nitty gritty. Thankfully, Jared and I have recovered from each project, albeit there may have been a few arguments and frustrations along the way.

The Bathroom Remodel of 2019 was especially challenging as it was our (okay, Jared’s) first time laying tile. Which means there was some Youtube-ing, guesswork, and a learning curve taking place. Oh, and our tiny house only has one throne. Yep, one potty. In case two and two aren’t coming out to four, that means we went a full 24+ hours without a functioning bathroom…

The remodel not only included the hijacking of our toilet and laying tile, but also: ripping out the old floor, painting, retrofitting the new light fixture and rewiring the bathroom, framing out the old mirror, adding trim, sanding and painting the vanity and cabinet, cleaning… and wah-la. A beautiful bathroom. Complete with neutrals and radiating brightness. I love it.

I am sure from the fly-on-the-wall’s perspective, our weekend projects (especially this one) are entertaining. The story usually goes: me trying to boss Jared around, Jared ignoring me, the dogs barking, frayed nerves, throw some hangry ‘tude in there, everyone and everything is somehow covered in paint… Holy shit show.

Because I care about all you fine readers, I want to help you from being the fly-on-the-wall’s circus. Here are some lessons and tips, so you don’t teeter on the divorce end of DIY…

1. Get yourself a handy man. End of story. If he can’t wire, plumb, fix the shit you break, lay tile, build things, (insert other contractor-esque stuff here), you don’t need him. Thank you Jared, for being my knight in shining armor. And for never cussing me when you have to fix “stuff”.

2. Stay in your lane. I absolutely do not take my own advice here. I like to advise/critique Jared on how he is doing things that I know nothing about. “ I don’t think you’re doing it correctly”, when you can’t even hang your own pictures, does not bode well. Save yourself some trouble, walk away, and work on something in another room. You don’t need to know how the sausage is made. Just that it gets finished.

3. Plan ahead. Somehow there are always the last minute trips to the hardware store. They are aggravating (and you always look like hell). Try to avoid them as much as possible.

4. Be decisive. No matter how hard it is. The two beiges you spent a week mulling over… no one can tell the difference. You’re wasting precious time and energy.

5. Don’t eliminate your only toilet for 24+ hours. It’s just an uncomfortable, bad idea. End of story. You can’t find enough things to keep going to Walmart for.

6. Find your strengths and stick with them. There will undoubtedly be things that you are good at, and your partner is good at. Leverage them to create a well-balanced team. My skill is painting. It’s about all I bring to the table (besides my visssssion…) so I try to just buck up and not complain. Somehow Jared usually ends up helping here, too. He’s a better team player than I am.

7. When looking at what to tackle first and where to spend your money, I always turn to paint. Paint is the biggest bang for your buck, you can put it on anything and it’s instantly gratifying. It brightens, refreshes, and gives new life to a room or piece of furniture. (I would like to note – this is after you’ve fixed any possible structural/important issues, and are moving on to the cosmetics.)

8. Learn how to salvage/reuse/recycle as much as possible in your house. It took some extra work, but sanding, painting, and adding new knobs to the interior doors ($30 versus $200 for a new door) was a great way to refresh the house and stay on a budget. They’re older doors so they are solid and high-quality, just needed some love. We also opted to repaint the bathroom vanity instead buying a new one. It fits in the bathroom, it’s got lots of storage, we both like it, and hell, it’s already there. Why make more work for ourselves?

9. Attention is in the detail. All together, paint, new molding, fans, light fixtures, and new door knobs, are not that expensive. They’re smaller details that really make an impact and give your home your own personal touch.

10. Stay true to who you are. My house is a collection and representation of me (and Jared). All the weird and funky parts. We’ve got my first buck on the wall, a TV center made by dad from wood on the ranch, my favorite sage green couches I got off Craigslist in college, lots of plants, a refinished pea-green hutch, and the list goes on. I try to keep a similar color scheme/theme, but realistically I just want to be surrounded by things that make me smile, and make me comfortable (I wish you could see the bright-colored afghan I’m cuddled up in right now). As long as you’re happy, it all seems to come together.

11. Appreciate your partner for all they do. When it is all said and done you’re in this together. You’re both working towards the same goal and have similar frustrations, so learn to (happily) work together! And when you’re a real asshole… just apologize (Jared, if you’re reading this, I swear I’m working on it!).

Happy remodeling friends! Pick a weekend and time when you’re maybe not exhausted to rip into the bathroom… And try to refrain from throwing the hammer at your partner…